USE THE RIGHT WORDS TO REACH HIS HEART. What you say to a man really is EVERYTHING – certain words can make him pull away and make you feel like you’re losing him, while other words can draw him to you like a magnet so that you feel like the most important thing in the world to him. If you launch at him with an accusation (“You’re always late!”), then not only will you NOT get the resolution you want, but you’ll create more unnecessary tension. But watch what happens when you leave him out of it and focus on your feeling: “I feel really angry when I have to keep waiting, and I don’t want to be late.” See the difference? You’re not making him out to be the bad guy, and you’re not hiding who you really are.
Now here’s the key -- follow up your feeling with an offer of negotiation: “What do you think we can do so we’re both happy?” When you talk to a man like this, he can’t help but feel like he’s just won the lottery. He’s found a woman who isn’t afraid to show him her true self and who respects him enough to want to come to an agreement. Practice this the next time you’re feeling disappointed with a man, and notice how he starts looking at you differently...and responding to you differently.
